Having a "Flannery" moment

"Mail is very eventful to me..."


"I never mind writing anybody.  In fact it is about my only way of visiting people as I don't get around much and people seldom come to see us in the country." 
-Flannery O'Connor

Having recently moved from my hometown to a new area, I strongly yearn to become involved in a church; I have been praying about it even before we moved.  As a young girl, growing up in a very Christ-centered home, I attended a southern Baptist church every Sunday morning, evening, and Wednesday night.  I grew up reading Bible stories before bed and praying aloud with my family.  This continued for most of my childhood as I watched my parents perform their many activities in the church as strong leaders.  I grew up in a program called AWANA (Approved Workmen Are Not Ashamed), which was kind of like girl/boy scouts for churches where we all earned badges for memorizing Bible verses.  It made such a large impact on my life and I grew up loving church and being involved - my second family was at church.


Later, my church involvement was being a member of the choir and youth group, and I still felt very grounded and involved in church.  Now, being in a new place, trying to "find" another church, I can't help but yearn for Christian fellowship.  Scott and I pray together and read devotions, but I yearn for fellowship with other Christians as well.  I can often become discouraged when at school because I often find that many literary people tend to turn in the opposite direction, claiming that the Bible is just another piece of literature to be examined and that Jesus was just another fascinating character in a book.  While I do agree that the Bible can, and should be, examined as a fine piece of literature, it is an understatement even to say that it is much more than that.


Still, what does it mean to be "involved," and why is it so we often yearn for it?  I ask myself that now as I am hoping to find it - this sense of involvement.  Is it just the guilt some of us are instilled with as "good 'ol Baptists"? Or is it that as Christians we long to be around others who share our love for Christ?  Right now, beginning a new life in a new place, I am relying on my husband and phone calls from my mother for Christian fellowship, and frankly, those are some big shoes to fill for two people (though they are filling them quite beautifully).  


Sometimes, though, I feel like I could be like Flannery O'Connor, whose sole source of fellowship with others was through writing letters.  Scott gave me a collection of some of Flannery's letters, and though I haven't picked it up in some time, I enjoy reading it.  She is able to spread her beliefs and intelligently correspond with friends about her growth as a Christian and Southern writer.  Sometimes I think I would enjoy that kind of fellowship even more.  Just as I feel that my younger brother would have enjoyed living in another decade, I too would have loved to live in a time when letter-writing was the main form of communication (although I wouldn't give up my phone conversations with my mother for anything).  I do agree with Donald Hall (U.S. poet laureate a few years ago) who wrote: "I loathe the damned telephone; I prize the bundle of envelopes left each day in the outsized mailbox."  As a talented, award-winning poet, I'm sure he receives loads of mail and feels a sense of fellowship in corresponding in the written word.  Having a special place in my heart for the written word, I too would love to receive letters from friends discussing books, life, art, ect.  


The other day, I went to see Mary Doria Russell, New York Times Bestselling author of "Dreamers of the Day," and she made a funny remark.  She said she didn't need 3D friends anymore, she had the internet.  Everyone chuckled because she was obviously being sarcastic, being a child of the baby-boomer era, but I found it to be quite true.  We are so caught up in what's on TV, on the internet, what's new in stores, what's the newest "toy," that we very rarely discuss how we "feel" about things and how they affect us.  I read old letters from many years ago and people seemed to be able to express themselves so eloquently and their topics of discussion did not seem so superficial. How are people going to remember us?  I'm sure we will seem rather ADHD because we seem to only have time for small snippets of anything.  Going back to her quote, sometimes I feel like I don't even need 3D fellowship, just a written letter from a friend and fellow Christian that I can then respond to.


So what it all comes down to, is this: I am yearning for some fellowship with other Christians (besides my sweet husband and family).  My husband's advice: keep praying and be patient.  Ah, that patience word again.  Here is just another way for it to be tested I suppose...and isn't our weaknesses being tested as important in our walk with God as finding fellowship or somewhere we can be involved?  Perhaps I just found the reason for my struggle...


In the meantime, if you read these ramblings I am sending out into the void (to quote one of my favorite movies), and you too have a longing for some correspondence or fellowship, write me and we'll talk!