positive: I tend to get things done early instead of waiting to the last minute and procrastinating
negative: until I get those things done they're weighing on me and I can't even sleep at night. The following picture illustrates this pretty well except even when I've been working lately I've been thinking of the many other things I need to be working on.
Having been a student in higher ed for the past 6 years I've gotten used to this feeling, but now that I'm in my last semester I'm ready to just throw up my hands and say, "Enough!" I know once I get out into 'the real world' of the workplace I'll have similar deadlines and to-do lists, but there's just something about the way I've been feeling lately that makes me feel uncomfortable. My school/work life seems like it's dragging me through everyday rather than being the other way around. Don't get me wrong - this quarter is nothing like the challenge of last quarter. Right now my classes are going well, I love my students, and for the most part I'm not working on homework the entire weekend. But these past couple of weeks have been trying on my nerves and I just want to be back on an "easy plateau," as Ryan Adams would say.
Having said all this, last night I read a quote in my devotional that really helped me (and I know this quote is probably meant for people going through much worse - let's face it, I'm just getting bogged down with 'stuff to do' but I'm well aware of all the blessings I have: a loving, encouraging partner, two jobs that I love, a supportive family, a comfortable apartment, and two playfully crazy cats). All this aside, this quote did help me see that life's not always going to "comfortable" or "easy" the way we might want it to be. That's a good thing, though we might not see it that way at the time.
"Each person has a spiritual obligation before God to learn how to live well, to live fully, as opposed to knowing only how to live comfortably" - Luci Swindoll
Who doesn't want to live a comfortable life? We yearn for moments when we can wrap ourselves in a soft comforter, grasp a mug of hot tea in our hands, and listen to the warm crackling fire in the fireplace [...] When God provides such times of comfort, we can thank him for that gift. But when days come that are far from comfortable, we can then take comfort in the fact that God is teaching us to live well, to live fully. He has more for us in life than just to live comfortably" (from Take My Heart, Oh God: Riches from the Greatest Christian Writers of All Time)
I have to say when I read the line about cuddling up on the couch (preferably without a care in the world) to say I was 'yearning' for it would have been an understatement (maybe it just needs to snow so some of us can slow down and regroup). But this devotion was a comfort in itself because of it's message: when we feel like life seems 'uncomfortable' it might just be more 'full.'
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