.finding altars in the world.

As some of you know my blog used to be called "A Room of My Own," referring to Virginia Woolf's A Room of One's Own (1929) and the importance for women to have money and space of their own to create and write.  But in the last few months I have discovered the writings of Barbara Brown Taylor, an Episcopal priest who has recently left the Church.  I've yet to find out why exactly but I'm reading her memoir Leaving Church so surely I'll find out soon.  But I'm sure it has a little to do with what many of us find frustrating about Church -- it's not what God intended.  I started with An Altar in the World which is a delightful read that profoundly touched me in so many ways. It's broken down into sections/chapters that deal with different areas - or altars - in the world where we can worship God.

She attests that we do not necessarily need a building with a steeple (see all the people); instead, "the last place people look is right under their feet, in the everyday activities, accidents, and encounters of their lives. What possible spiritual significance could a trip to the grocery store have? How could something as common as a toothache be a door to greater life?"(xvi).  She ponders these questions and many others, and in reading this philosophy I've tried to better notice and pay attention to the "acorn underfoot," hence the name of the blog.  I'm not sure if I've done a very good job putting this new attention to work, but I'm certainly trying to be more aware/thankful/content/knowledgeable of the small things underfoot and in my day-to-day.

What has been so amazing about this book is that it has always seemed to help me in the times I've needed it most.  The sections are divided into "practices" - - "The Practice of Waking Up to God," "The Practice of Paying Attention," "The Practice of Walking on the Earth" - - and I simply kept the book on my bedside, reading it section by section and not on any particular schedule.  I'd go several weeks without reading it and then get the feeling I needed to open it again and it always seemed the next section referred to something going on in my life.

When I got to "The Practice of Encountering Others" I had been struggling at that time with "encountering others," and her words of encouragement helped me be more aware of my struggles and apprehensions.  "At its most basic level, the everyday practice of being with other people is the practice of loving the neighbor as the self. More intricately, it is the practice of coming face-to-face with another human being, preferably someone different enough to qualify as a capital 'O' Other - and at least entertaining the possibility that this is one of the faces of God" (94).  I had never really thought of the simple day-to-day encounter with others as a way of expressing love for God and practicing "loving thy neighbor as thy self;" the simple act of looking someone in the eye or listening to their story is a way of living out a commandment.  Perhaps you might have thought this all along and maybe I sound quite silly, but I'll admit I needed a little reminder of this and got it at just the right time.  I won't say I've even improved in this area but I'm definitely more aware and trying to work on it.

Another "practice" that came along at just the right time was "The Practice of Living with Purpose," which discussed vocation.  At the time I read this section I had just agreed to start my own Mary Kay business thanks to my friend Ellen who has been doing it for over six years.  Ellen has come to be a dear friend in my life and I'm sad that she'll be moving to Texas in two weeks.  One reason I started was I saw what a blessing she is to so many women (including myself), because she's good at her job and (more importantly) she loves it! She brings joy to others in sitting with them, talking and listening to their stories, and pampering them for an hour or two.  In a way she lives out this idea Taylor poses in taking time to slow down, look in the mirror, and notice the soft lines left from years of smiling, the shape of the eyes, or the feeling of skin.

I had been apprehensive about starting a Mary Kay business (and I'm still working on my goals and finding my "purpose" with it) but I'm thankful for saying "yes" to the opportunity.  Taylor begins her section on living with purpose listing all the jobs she's ever done in her life, both paid and volunteer.  And then she writes, "I have no defense for this largely frivolous list except that every job I have ever worked has brought me into contact with a crowd of people I might never have discovered any other way.  Every job has required me to learn things that have opened up whole new dimensions of reality to me.  Every job has revealed some ability I did not know I had, just as it has exposed some clumsiness I was pretty sure I had" (108).  In her honest reflection of her job experiences I find comfort that whatever job I decide to hold (and I hope to have many in my lifetime) I will find purpose and learn more about others and myself.  As I'm still trying to set goals for my small business and learn what it is I'm wanting to "get out of it" it might not necessarily be my choice what I get out of it, but what God wants to show me about myself or others along the way.

"Every one of these tools gave me ample opportunity to choose kindness over meanness.  Every one of them offered me the chance to recognize the divine in human form, inviting me out of myself long enough to engage someone whose fears, wants, loves, and needs were at least as important as my own," she writes (111) and I'm truly excited to see where this "ample opportunity" takes me.

You might not agree with all of Taylor's philosophies and you might definitely shy away from reading about a priest who has left the Church, but I definitely recommend An Altar in the World if only to help you practice the little things in life, paying attention to the things around you, and knowing that "even something as small as a hazelnut can become an altar in the world" (34).