This past week was both challenging and eye-opening.  Challenging, because it had come time to begin the final book for our Feminist Memoir class, and it dealt with transgender issues.  I'll admit I was close-minded about beginning my reading, and most of this can be blamed on my ignorance of the issue.  I read Jennifer (formerly James) Finney Boylan's She's Not There: A Life in Two Genders and quite literally, couldn't put it down.  I slowly learned what it means to be transgender, and for her specifically, it meant not ever truly feeling like she belonged in her own skin.  She would watch her mother iron her father's shirts, becoming frustrated when her mother would point out that she would wear shirts like these one day.  She was a young girl, trapped in a male body for much of her life, and remembers feeling this way at the early age of three.

This week was eye-opening because I learned so much about transgender issues through the story of one person.  I got to meet her on Thursday, sharing pizza and discussion, and then listening to her lecture later that day.  What amazes me the most about her story is that she lived most her life as a man haunted by the wish to be a woman. She married and had two boys before, at the age of 40, beginning the process of transitioning into a female body...and her heterosexual wife is still with her today. Her wife (named "Grace" in her book) is with her through every step of the process, and although there are times of utter frustration and heartache, they share a life together, raising two boys who equally love their "Maddie" (a term they coined as young boys, combining "mommy" and "daddy").  If their family is not a prime example of love, I'm not sure what is.  And what touched me the most about her lecture was when she pointed out that many people may feel that their relationship is "weird," but how many other relationships/marriages are filled with abuse and neglect, etc.? Yet Jennifer and Grace's love is unconditional, which is more than a lot of people can say for their own relationships (I wish I could remember exactly how she said it, because it was much more eloquent than that).

So, I wanted to share this experience with you - my own "transition," if you will - and suggest that when you go into something close-minded, you may very well come out on the other side changed, with wide eyes open, as I have this week.  It's extremely easy to judge because of ignorance and misunderstanding, but as Jennifer's Christian mother (who she says is her #1 fan) pointed out, "You can't hate someone when you've heard their story."